Here are 6 things about porn that are kind of gay when you think about it. As Seinfeld would say “(gay)…not that there’s anything wrong with it…”. Of course there’s nothing wrong with being gay. But if you shoot porn for straight consumers you should watch out for some stuff – like the following six ‘gay’ things. If you don’t think of them as gay, you’ll probably agree that they could be considered ‘gross’ or at least ‘not visually appealing to most male consumers’. Just because your competitors can’t be bothered to watch out for this doesn’t mean you should be like that too. Personally I’m always amazed how this doesn’t seem to bother a lot of shooters/editors. They figure, ‘well, it sells anyways’ so that’s good enough then apparently. No, it’s not. Not anymore. Oh you’re just doing your job? Your boss didn’t tell you specifically about this and you just want this to be done with? Well, that’s a valid excuse then. For those who wish to grow, and strive in this market, let’s ponder some things:

Six gay/gross/unappealing things:

1) More naked guys than girls. Gangbangs are the worst. One tiny porn girl and five huge sweaty fat guys covering her up for the entire scene. Yuck!

2) Guy jerking off for an hour standing over/next to the female talent before he can jizz over her face. Editors, please start noticing this stuff. Consumers do not like it.

3) POV-guy behind the camera somehow manages to include the phrase “my COCK!” every ten seconds.

4) Double Penetration scenes (DP) with one dick constantly brushing up on the other guy. Ewwww! I know, hard to avoid but please fucking TRY.

5) Cutting away from the girl and doing a closeup of guy’s face when he “orgams” (usually a pick-up shot). Instant boner loss.

6) Not really gay, but excessively long “man blanket” shots. (Man blanket = male talent covering up girl with his body)

Am I being petty? I don’t think so. My most successful content is that where I (or my content producing client) is careful about not having ‘too much man’ in the picture. Some of the best selling content doesn’t even show the male talent’s face or most of his body much at all. Might not always work for you depending on your style but try it.

Quick side note, I’m certainly aware that there are  shooters who incorporate this type of stuff on purpose to appeal to the hidden homo-erotic fantasies of  straight consumers.But if you aren’t doing this on purpose, and you are supposed to be shooting/editing with as little “dude stuff” in front of the lens as possible, then take those points above to heart and try some different angles and approaches. Yes, it might mean you’ll actually have to start thinking about shit on set again but hey, wouldn’t making more appealing content be worth it?

And yes, I’m writing this somewhat tongue in cheek. Having been a shooter and editor myself I understand that sometimes you just don’t have the time or attention to notice  these things. Or you get just a little too comfortable, especially if you’ve been shooting/editing for a while. After all, the “other guys” are doing it that way too, right? Or maybe you want your male talent to be as comfortable as possible so you let them run the show. And who knows, maybe there’s actually a big percentage of straight consumers who like watching that type of stuff, right? Well, don’t bank on it. Consumers have become more vocal over the past few years. Read their comments on review sites, or (gasp!!) tube sites and you’ll notice trends. More and more of your potential customers are basically telling you what they don’t like. This type of  insight into consumer preferences is unprecedented and something we couldn’t have dreamed of just a few years ago. You just have to pay attention now. If you want every edge possible then start seeing those trends and do your research – or be left behind.

I’ll list my gripes in a Do’s and Don’ts type list. As usual, I’m not beating around the bush and use frank language.

1 ) Do not cut to the male talent’s face when he’s cumming (see screen shot), or, really, anytime unless you absolutely must do so as a cutaway. When your viewer is jerking off the last thing he wants to see is the dude’s mug. For some reason this is especially common in European productions. Well, stop it!  It’s all about the girl. Always.

2 ) Do not show the guy beating off on the girls’ face for five minutes before he can pop. Spend some time browsing forums or anywhere else, adult consumers exchange their likes and dislikes and this is one of the top things people hate.  It’s anti-climatic and just not hot, unless your viewer is into guys. Go straight from sex/bj/whatever to the cumshot. No self-stroking. Ideally have the girl finish off the guy. If your stunt cock needs to stroke himself before he can perform the pop shot, don’t include that in your final edit. Or at the very least have the girl suck his balls at the same time – just have her be involved somehow.

3 ) Do plan your shoot before you start recording. If you have to use a bunch of transitions because you didn’t plan your blocking, or forgot to direct the talent prior to hitting the record button, do yourself and your viewers a favor and practice being a pro before you waste everyone’s time on set or the edit suite.

4 ) Editors: mind the overall rhythm and continuity when you’re editing. If you do multi angle shoots and switch from, say, a wide angle shot to a closeup, cut so that it flows seamlessly. Always using cross dissolves for angle changes is for lazy editors, amateurs, and those who are guilty of #3 on this list.

5 ) Learn to white balance. This should really be number one on this list. This seriously can make the difference between a mediocre and a great looking picture. Don’t just learn basic “balance to white”, learn what other things you can do with this important function. It’s amazing.

Hint 1: expose / light / white balance for the girl’s skin, not the male talent or (god forbid!) the furniture.

Hint 2: light blue-ish source. You can thank me later for this one.

6 ) Do control your set. Don’t permit anyone (make up artists, drivers, whoever) to walk around or make noise while you are shooting. If at all possible, control the light sources on set. Bring mobile drapes or window covers if you have to. Turn off fans and air conditioners if at all possible. Disconnect phones, shut off cell phones. CONTROL. YOUR. SET.

7 ) Do focus on the female performer (if you’re shooting straight footage), not the stunt cock, not the furniture, not how clever you are, not what’s for lunch, not how bored you are, not when House is on next. Professionals realize that the girl and her performance are what make or break the shoot. The male talent might be a funny wisecrack but nobody gives a damn about that when they’re jerking off. (Really, it’s the male talent who’s “objectified” in our industry, but that’s for another time). This is porn, not a buddy bash and not a time to be absent minded. FOCUS.

8 ) Do learn to handle your camera properly. If you can’t hold the damn thing steady while you’re moving or getting down to your knees, either practice or get a Steadycam-type device. If all else fails, see if you can fix extensive shakes in post. Excessive shakiness is for amateurs and drunks. You’re (hopefully) neither.

9 ) Do turn off auto white balance. See #5

10 ) Don’t shoot for your ego. If your only goal is to be the next John Stagliano, Jules Jordan, or Raul Cristian, instead of focusing on making the most enticing, sexiest…SELLABLE footage possible for your viewers, this biz might not be for you. Most everybody wants to be a superstar, including directors and shooters. But put your ego on a shelf while you’re shooting, it’ll help you get footage that’s a lot more “in the moment”.

11 ) Do shoot additional footage you can include in trailers, teasers, or promo clips. Be creative here.

12 ) Do learn to use natural light, but also learn proper traditional lighting. And not just how to properly light your subject. Among other things, learn to not cast shadows on your talent while you’re shooting. Learn to have the penetration shots properly lit instead of losing them in shadows. Learn how to move around on set without casting shadows or hiding or revealing light sources. There is no shame in standing way back and zooming in in order to not disturb the set.

13 ) Do practice before going on location. It’s okay – no, essential – to learn your gear and your craft before you set foot on set. Think of musicians – they don’t practice on stage, do they? They do that before the concert. Once the lights are on it’s showtime. Showtime is not practice time.

14 ) Don’t think amateur porn isn’t a “threat” to you. There has never been as much amateur porn as today and the numbers are growing. Worse yet, amateurs are getting better and better, and video and photo gear is improving while price points are dropping. Some amateur stuff is downright great. And often it’s available for free, be it because its stolen and posted on tube sites, or because the creators just don’t care about the money and just want to be “pornstars” for a while.

Either be better than them or join their ranks. There is no shame in the latter, regardless of what stigma “amateur porn” might have in your mind right now. But if you want to be a pro or glam shooter then you’ll want to hone your skills. Research what consumers will actually pay for. Calling yourself a pro and doing what any college kid with a consumer camcorder can do is pathetic, and a sure way for you to be treated as such. If you’re too lazy to learn new skills or shoot what would earn you a living, or you simply find that making and selling amateur porn is more profitable to you than going for the whole “pro” thing, it’s okay to shoot and sell amateur porn. Just don’t expect to be hired by Playboy or start the next FTV Girls.

15 ) Don’t think you can’t learn new skills. Don’t think you’re too dumb or too old or too busy to learn a new NLE, or Photoshop, or lighting skills. If you can breathe on your own and can read this, you’re just fine.

Now go and conquer. And don’t be stupid.

Time for an adult industry related observation. It’s something most of us don’t really think about but should. As I’m helping clients get their adult business to the next level I’m looking at lots and lots of adult video and photo content. And while the types and quality of videos and photos range from glamor to ultra hard amateur porn one thing I see over and over again is something that, if you really think about it, doesn’t make a lot of sense.

Naked men. Tons of them.

Are you running a gay site? If so, disregard the following. If not, read on.

Still with me? Good…

What I’m saying here might piss a lot of you male talent and shooters off. How dare I take the fun away for you? Well…screw you. It’s a business and the girl is who matters. Not you. Not your comfort.

Now, you’re selling the girl. The girl might be you or it might be your contract performer, or it might be one of many girls you shoot for a multi girl site. The point is you are selling a naked girl and not naked men.

Why do men feel they have to be naked in porn? One thing I have to stress over and over again is that the man’s pleasure is of noone’s concern when producing content. In other words: I don’t give a shit if you don’t feel totally comfortable if it means I get better content. I need the girl to be naked, not you.

If you are acting in your own movies you should feel the same way.

I’ve seen a lot of content where the male talent’s skin tone was so different from the female performer that the latter simply looked horrible. He was tan, she looked like a ghost next to him. Not good. I can expose my cameras for one person’s skin tone but not both so one of them is going to look “off”. This can be avoided if I have the male talent keeps his damn shirt on.

The problem is amplified in gangbang scenes – you have one girl and two, three, four….fifty naked guys. Too much flesh, folks.Too much skin, and not of the good kind. The girl visually drowns in a see ofmale back hair and flabby muscle. Not. Good. For. Sales.

Look at the picture here. Now, I’m not picking on Phoenixxx Blaque here in any way, this picture just came up as number one in Google’s image section for the keyword “gangbang”.

Frankly, there is too much man going on here. Phoenixxx is hot and a fantastic performer. Why ruin photos and videos with a bunch of naked guys? They blend in and Phoenixxx doesn’t stand out. All the consumer sees is small dicks and a bunch of naked guys.

If you’re selling a product (the female perfomer is always – ALWAYS – the star, the product) then don’t ruin it with shots like that.

When I ask some male clients who star in their own videos why they feel they have to be naked in every damn video they shoot their answer usually is something along the lines of “that’s how I always have sex, I like it that way”.

Ask yourself, if you had a mainstream office job, would you show up in flip flops, four hours late, and drunk because…you like it that way? Not if you want to keep your job.

Same thing here. Remember that running an adult site is like any other business – your personal comfort is secondary to what the member/customer wants. And last time I checked most straight male customers don’t particularly care to see a bunch of naked men covering up their female object of desire.