Today in my Don’t Be Stupid! series I’ll list 10 annoying and something downright stupid things we see done over and over again in porn productions. I’ve done almost all of these things myself but over the years I’ve learned (and am still learning) things that work and things that do not. Remembering and following this list will make you a better content shooter and/or editor, and provide your viewers with a much more satisfying experience.

I’ll list my gripes in a Do’s and Don’ts type list. As usual, I’m not beating around the bush and use frank language.

1 ) Do not cut to the male talent’s face when he’s cumming (see screen shot), or, really, anytime unless you absolutely must do so as a cutaway. When your viewer is jerking off the last thing he wants to see is the dude’s mug. For some reason this is especially common in European productions. Well, stop it!  It’s all about the girl. Always.

2 ) Do not show the guy beating off on the girls’ face for five minutes before he can pop. Spend some time browsing forums or anywhere else, adult consumers exchange their likes and dislikes and this is one of the top things people hate.  It’s anti-climatic and just not hot, unless your viewer is into guys. Go straight from sex/bj/whatever to the cumshot. No self-stroking. Ideally have the girl finish off the guy. If your stunt cock needs to stroke himself before he can perform the pop shot, don’t include that in your final edit. Or at the very least have the girl suck his balls at the same time – just have her be involved somehow.

3 ) Do plan your shoot before you start recording. If you have to use a bunch of transitions because you didn’t plan your blocking, or forgot to direct the talent prior to hitting the record button, do yourself and your viewers a favor and practice being a pro before you waste everyone’s time on set or the edit suite.

4 ) Editors: mind the overall rhythm and continuity when you’re editing. If you do multi angle shoots and switch from, say, a wide angle shot to a closeup, cut so that it flows seamlessly. Always using cross dissolves for angle changes is for lazy editors, amateurs, and those who are guilty of #3 on this list.

5 ) Learn to white balance. This should really be number one on this list. This seriously can make the difference between a mediocre and a great looking picture. Don’t just learn basic “balance to white”, learn what other things you can do with this important function. It’s amazing.

Hint 1: expose / light / white balance for the girl’s skin, not the male talent or (god forbid!) the furniture.

Hint 2: light blue-ish source. You can thank me later for this one.

6 ) Do control your set. Don’t permit anyone (make up artists, drivers, whoever) to walk around or make noise while you are shooting. If at all possible, control the light sources on set. Bring mobile drapes or window covers if you have to. Turn off fans and air conditioners if at all possible. Disconnect phones, shut off cell phones. CONTROL. YOUR. SET.

7 ) Do focus on the female performer (if you’re shooting straight footage), not the stunt cock, not the furniture, not how clever you are, not what’s for lunch, not how bored you are, not when House is on next. Professionals realize that the girl and her performance are what make or break the shoot. The male talent might be a funny wisecrack but nobody gives a damn about that when they’re jerking off. (Really, it’s the male talent who’s “objectified” in our industry, but that’s for another time). This is porn, not a buddy bash and not a time to be absent minded. FOCUS.

8 ) Do learn to handle your camera properly. If you can’t hold the damn thing steady while you’re moving or getting down to your knees, either practice or get a Steadycam-type device. If all else fails, see if you can fix extensive shakes in post. Excessive shakiness is for amateurs and drunks. You’re (hopefully) neither.

9 ) Do turn off auto white balance. See #5

10 ) Don’t shoot for your ego. If your only goal is to be the next John Stagliano, Jules Jordan, or Raul Cristian, instead of focusing on making the most enticing, sexiest…SELLABLE footage possible for your viewers, this biz might not be for you. Most everybody wants to be a superstar, including directors and shooters. But put your ego on a shelf while you’re shooting, it’ll help you get footage that’s a lot more “in the moment”.

11 ) Do shoot additional footage you can include in trailers, teasers, or promo clips. Be creative here.

12 ) Do learn to use natural light, but also learn proper traditional lighting. And not just how to properly light your subject. Among other things, learn to not cast shadows on your talent while you’re shooting. Learn to have the penetration shots properly lit instead of losing them in shadows. Learn how to move around on set without casting shadows or hiding or revealing light sources. There is no shame in standing way back and zooming in in order to not disturb the set.

13 ) Do practice before going on location. It’s okay – no, essential – to learn your gear and your craft before you set foot on set. Think of musicians – they don’t practice on stage, do they? They do that before the concert. Once the lights are on it’s showtime. Showtime is not practice time.

14 ) Don’t think amateur porn isn’t a “threat” to you. There has never been as much amateur porn as today and the numbers are growing. Worse yet, amateurs are getting better and better, and video and photo gear is improving while price points are dropping. Some amateur stuff is downright great. And often it’s available for free, be it because its stolen and posted on tube sites, or because the creators just don’t care about the money and just want to be “pornstars” for a while.

Either be better than them or join their ranks. There is no shame in the latter, regardless of what stigma “amateur porn” might have in your mind right now. But if you want to be a pro or glam shooter then you’ll want to hone your skills. Research what consumers will actually pay for. Calling yourself a pro and doing what any college kid with a consumer camcorder can do is pathetic, and a sure way for you to be treated as such. If you’re too lazy to learn new skills or shoot what would earn you a living, or you simply find that making and selling amateur porn is more profitable to you than going for the whole “pro” thing, it’s okay to shoot and sell amateur porn. Just don’t expect to be hired by Playboy or start the next FTV Girls.

15 ) Don’t think you can’t learn new skills. Don’t think you’re too dumb or too old or too busy to learn a new NLE, or Photoshop, or lighting skills. If you can breathe on your own and can read this, you’re just fine.

Now go and conquer. And don’t be stupid.