Don’t Be Stupid - 15 Tips for Shooting Better Porn

Shooting Tip: don't cut to the male talent's face during the pop shotToday in my Don’t Be Stupid! series I’ll list 10 annoying and something downright stupid things we see done over and over again in porn productions. I’ve done almost all of these things myself but over the years I’ve learned (and am still learning) things that work and things that do not. Remembering and following this list will make you a better content shooter and/or editor, and provide your viewers with a much more satisfying experience.

I’ll list my gripes in a Do’s and Don’ts type list. As usual, I’m not beating around the bush and use frank language.

1 ) Do not cut to the male talent’s face when he’s cumming (see screen shot), or, really, anytime unless you absolutely must do so as a cutaway. When your viewer is jerking off the last thing he wants to see is the dude’s mug. For some reason this is especially common in European productions. Well, stop it!  It’s all about the girl. Always.

2 ) Do not show the guy beating off on the girls’ face for five minutes before he can pop. Spend some time browsing forums or anywhere else, adult consumers exchange their likes and dislikes and this is one of the top things people hate.  It’s anti-climatic and just not hot, unless your viewer is into guys. Go straight from sex/bj/whatever to the cumshot. No self-stroking. Ideally have the girl finish off the guy. If your stunt cock needs to stroke himself before he can perform the pop shot, don’t include that in your final edit. Or at the very least have the girl suck his balls at the same time - just have her be involved somehow.

3 ) Do plan your shoot before you start recording. If you have to use a bunch of transitions because you didn’t plan your blocking, or forgot to direct the talent prior to hitting the record button, do yourself and your viewers a favor and practice being a pro before you waste everyone’s time on set or the edit suite.

4 ) Editors: mind the overall rhythm and continuity when you’re editing. If you do multi angle shoots and switch from, say, a wide angle shot to a closeup, cut so that it flows seamlessly. Always using cross dissolves for angle changes is for lazy editors, amateurs, and those who are guilty of #3 on this list.

5 ) Learn to white balance. This should really be number one on this list. This seriously can make the difference between a mediocre and a great looking picture. Don’t just learn basic “balance to white”, learn what other things you can do with this important function. It’s amazing.

Hint 1: expose / light / white balance for the girl’s skin, not the male talent or (god forbid!) the furniture.

Hint 2: light blue-ish source. You can thank me later for this one.

6 ) Do control your set. Don’t permit anyone (make up artists, drivers, whoever) to walk around or make noise while you are shooting. If at all possible, control the light sources on set. Bring mobile drapes or window covers if you have to. Turn off fans and air conditioners if at all possible. Disconnect phones, shut off cell phones. CONTROL. YOUR. SET.

7 ) Do focus on the female performer (if you’re shooting straight footage), not the stunt cock, not the furniture, not how clever you are, not what’s for lunch, not how bored you are, not when House is on next. Professionals realize that the girl and her performance are what make or break the shoot. The male talent might be a funny wisecrack but nobody gives a damn about that when they’re jerking off. (Really, it’s the male talent who’s “objectified” in our industry, but that’s for another time). This is porn, not a buddy bash and not a time to be absent minded. FOCUS.

8 ) Do learn to handle your camera properly. If you can’t hold the damn thing steady while you’re moving or getting down to your knees, either practice or get a Steadycam-type device. If all else fails, see if you can fix extensive shakes in post. Excessive shakiness is for amateurs and drunks. You’re (hopefully) neither.

9 ) Do turn off auto white balance. See #5

10 ) Don’t shoot for your ego. If your only goal is to be the next John Stagliano, Jules Jordan, or Raul Cristian, instead of focusing on making the most enticing, sexiest…SELLABLE footage possible for your viewers, this biz might not be for you. Most everybody wants to be a superstar, including directors and shooters. But put your ego on a shelf while you’re shooting, it’ll help you get footage that’s a lot more “in the moment”.

11 ) Do shoot additional footage you can include in trailers, teasers, or promo clips. Be creative here.

12 ) Do learn to use natural light, but also learn proper traditional lighting. And not just how to properly light your subject. Among other things, learn to not cast shadows on your talent while you’re shooting. Learn to have the penetration shots properly lit instead of losing them in shadows. Learn how to move around on set without casting shadows or hiding or revealing light sources. There is no shame in standing way back and zooming in in order to not disturb the set.

13 ) Do practice before going on location. It’s okay - no, essential - to learn your gear and your craft before you set foot on set. Think of musicians - they don’t practice on stage, do they? They do that before the concert. Once the lights are on it’s showtime. Showtime is not practice time.

14 ) Don’t think amateur porn isn’t a “threat” to you. There has never been as much amateur porn as today and the numbers are growing. Worse yet, amateurs are getting better and better, and video and photo gear is improving while price points are dropping. Some amateur stuff is downright great. And often it’s available for free, be it because its stolen and posted on tube sites, or because the creators just don’t care about the money and just want to be “pornstars” for a while.

Either be better than them or join their ranks. There is no shame in the latter, regardless of what stigma “amateur porn” might have in your mind right now. But if you want to be a pro or glam shooter then you’ll want to hone your skills. Research what consumers will actually pay for. Calling yourself a pro and doing what any college kid with a consumer camcorder can do is pathetic, and a sure way for you to be treated as such. If you’re too lazy to learn new skills or shoot what would earn you a living, or you simply find that making and selling amateur porn is more profitable to you than going for the whole “pro” thing, it’s okay to shoot and sell amateur porn. Just don’t expect to be hired by Playboy or start the next FTV Girls.

15 ) Don’t think you can’t learn new skills. Don’t think you’re too dumb or too old or too busy to learn a new NLE, or Photoshop, or lighting skills. If you can breathe on your own and can read this, you’re just fine.

Now go and conquer. And don’t be stupid.

If You Don’t Think Your Product Is the Best, Read This

Acer takes top 2 spotThe news that taiwanese company Acer is taking over Dell as the number two PC maker has some folks rattled because Acer’s quality is considered by many to be inferior. Even their main US web site is, mildly speaking, not the cream of the crop. It just doesn’t feel or function like a top PC maker’s web site.

Some people confuse making quality products with being number one or two but that’s simply not the case.

GM was the number one car maker for many, many years. But GM wasn’t exactly known for its stellar quality vehicles for the past 20 years or so.
Price and marketing matter far more than making the best quality product, unfortunately.

This matters to you if you are working for a company (or own one) and you don’t think you are currently producing the greatest/shiniest/sexiest/most advanced/…/ product or service possible.

It’s a noble thing to strive for perfection, or even “just” excellence. And it’s true that excellent products and services have a much better chance to thrive in the market place.

But even if you’re lacking somewhat don’t let this be an excuse to slack off and not put forward your best effort.

If you make a very good product, or offer a very good service, that may be enough to succeed, provided your marketing, tenacity, and (probably) pricing are top notch. Mediocre or even crappy doesn’t cut it. I’m talking truly, honest to goodness “good enough“. And the consumer decides if it is good enough, not you.*

If you do some digging, and I mean real, open minded research, you’ll discover how all top brands are quite flawed in one form or another. You have heard fanboi-ish accolades for virtually every Apple product, and many of its followers could truly be considered fanatics who would not dare to acknowledge any product faults, but then you’ll find there are about just as many problems with them than with its competitors.

Mercedes Benz has been getting mostly praise for the past, oh, 100 years or so but dig deeper and you’ll find some very interesting facts about recalls, shotty workmanship, and other “goodies” that are not very well known to the general public.

Same with Myspace, Twitter, BMW, and pretty much any other brand that currently enjoys top spot status.

Point is, don’t give up if you are not quite at the peak yet. Be as good as you can be, and then show your best, most tenacious marketing effort.

Learn about building a (fanatical) following (Apple), creating addictive/ viral worthy brands or services (Twitter, Facebook, YouTube), and dominating distribution outlets (Acer, …Megan Fox).

You might just become the next Acer.

* Just be careful - GM was making vehicles that were “good enough” for a long time. So did Penthouse. So did Lehman Brothers. At one point your product or service may not be good enough any longer and before this happens you must adapt or die.

Forget this and the Customers will forget You

There is one easily overlooked and yet ultra crucial aspect a lot of e-commerce sites are missing, and it’s costing them a lot of sales.

Even many technologically sound sites don’t do this. This doesn’t apply to adult sites but to everyone else this is really, really important.

It’s accepting customer payments via PayPal.

This is now more important than ever before as a large number of internet savvy consumers already have a working PayPal account.

Tom's ShoesTo give you an example of how important PayPal is let me tell you my experience of trying to buy shoes from Tom’s Shoes last night.

Like others, Tom’s grossly underestimates the laziness of its customers (like me) and the power of impulse purchases.

As so many consumers, I often purchase stuff I want (more than need) and do so on an impulse basis. I had seen the Tom’s Shoes commercial where the owner tells the viewer that for every pair of shoes they sell, one pair will be given for free to a child in need.

Last night I remembered I needed some new casual footwear for my home office and Tom’s Shoes came to mind. After realizing that those guys really only have one type of shoes I figured I’d give it a shot anyways and put a pair in my shopping cart. I’m nowhere near my wallet. It’s 3 AM and I’m getting sleepy - a perfect time to sell me pretty much anything I might remotely want.

When I was ready to check out and purchase I realized Tom’s didn’t offer to let me pay with PayPal. This is how I usually buy stuff on a whim - click the PayPal button, type in my username and password, hit the authorization button, and I got stuff.

So now Tom’s wants me to fill out their customer forms and, worse yet, requires me to find my wallet, dig out my credit card, try to read the worn-off numbers on it, and send my financial info into the unknown. All for a pair of cheap linen shoes.

I figure I’d come back later and do that. At that time I just didn’t feel like going through the credit card hassle.

Actually, I never do. Nobody does.

And that’s the problem - I abandoned my shopping cart (this is aptly called the “ abandonment rate” to retailers) and chances are I will never come back and complete the purchase because once I had some time to think about it I realize $50 for a pair of linen shoes that may or may not fit plus ten bucks shipping might not really be worth it. Instead I got hit by Amazon with some sweet deals I just couldn’t say no to.

And Amazon (they are the kings in my book) does this right - not only does it suggest stuff I might actually want, it also makes buying everything super easy. One click and I’m done. Awesome.

Tom’s (and the countless other retailers who didn’t let me pay with PayPal, Google Checkout, or another convenient payment method that doesn’t require me to grab my credit cards) lost a sale. How many times per day do you think this happens to them?

How many times per day does this happen to you?

Do you make it ultra convenient to pay for your goods and services? Do you force customers to fill out a bunch of forms before they can make a purchase?

Don’t discount this. My little story sounds simple but this is how in fact a large percentage of sales happen - on impulse. The retailer who offers the quickest, most convenient way to buy, wins. Always.

Link: PayPal for business

Seinfeld Porn Parody

Normally I’m not into porn spoofs but they do have their place. Now, this one here is actually really well done - a porn parody of Seinfeld, starring James Deen as Seinfeld and a slew of other cast members who actually do a great job in satirizing Seinfeld’s show and still pulling off a porn flick worth watching. And it’s got Ashlynn Brooke in it so that’s always good in my book.

Adult directors and producers: notice how well done the sets are - lighting, staging, costumes, blocking, and audio are all beyond the ordinary porn fare. I dare say some parts actually look damn close to the actual Seinfeld show.

One can tell that these guys actually took pride and care in their work. They realize it’s a different game now. Ordinary and half-baked doesn’t cut it anymore.

New Sensations is the company behind this. They’ve been doing great work for years so I’m happy to see them still in the game and doing well. They acquired a bunch of adult sites and combined them into one massive affiliate program (NSCash). Probably one of the better ones, overall.

Check out the Seinfeld XXX Parody trailer here. Looks pretty well done, doesn’t it?

Optimizing Windows 7 for Content Creation

Win 7 optimizationAs I keep installing Windows 7 RC on several systems I remember that I wanted to quickly point out a few things you should do if you plan on using Windows 7 on your editing / content production systems.

1) After installing Windows 7 go ahead and disable automatic defragmentation, automatic download and installation of updates, search indexing, and tone down some of the visual stuff like fading in and out of boxes, animated windows and all that. By default scheduled defragmentation is on and you do not want this stuff to start up right when you’re in the middle of editing or exporting your movies.

Don’t animate / rotate your wallpapers. Choose one and stick to it.

Disable any services you don’t need. I usually get rid of any printing and spooling services, touchscreen features, games, and XPS services. Windows 7 makes this very easy: Control Panel > Programs and Features > Turn Windows Features On or Off

Automatic updates sometimes force an automatic reboot - you don’t want that either. Search indexing can slow things down. And removing some of the visual stuff will help with performance as well.

2) Right after installing Windows 7, run Windows Update and install any drivers and updates that are suggested to you. Restart when you’re prompted to, then keep coming back to Windows Update until there’s nothing more you need to install (language packs and other non-essentials can be skipped). AFTER you’ve installed all important updates and drivers disable the automatic downloading and installing of any updates (see above as to why).

3) Before you install any of your programs (Premiere, Avid, Photoshop, whatever) download and install any and all drivers you might need. Windows 7 is very good at detecting and, if necessary, offering you to get the latest drivers for your graphics cards, monitors and so forth but it could miss it. Also download drivers for your audio cards, and any other peripherals you might have attached.

4) This is one hard pill to swallow for many of you but do not install any anti-virus software on your production system. That stuff just causes more problems than they’re worth. I have not used any anti-virus software in four years on my editing systems and never had a problem. I do scan every few weeks, just to be safe. Never once did I get hit with a virus or spyware. Just don’t go online unless you really have to, and only go to reputable sites. Not having anti-virus junk hog your computer’s resources will make a huge difference.

5) Do not install iTunes, Roxio, Nero, or any other application you don’t absolutely need. No email programs either. A surprisingly large number of programs hog resources and run unneeded stuff in the background. The more junk runs in the background the more problems you will have.

I’ll write a more in-depth guide on optimizing Windows 7 for Content Creation soon.

Palm Pre Launch Email Goes Nowhere - Be Prepared

What Not To Do In Marketing

So I get an email from Sprint just after midnight 06/06/2009 - As expected, the Palm Pre is now officially available.
After the hype Palm and Sprint have been building you’d expect those guys to put some extra care into the launch.

All pages should be up and running, all links working, all graphics carefully selected and positioned, purchasing information and opportunities should be aplenty, and everything should just be ready for the consumer.

This is always important and particularly so during any major product launch or site change. To get the email you had to have filled out a form at Sprint.com to be notified of the Pre’s availability, making those consumers who received this launch email prime customers - exactly the kind  Sprint and Palm need to stay alive during these times.

But when I clicked the link in the email, instead of wowing me with some sexy presentation and an opportunity to buy this highly anticipated gadget right then and there on Sprint’s site I get an almost blank page that just says “We’re Updating…”

If an important launch like that is so unorganized and unreliable, what else is?

How this Relates to You the Webmaster / Marketer

Just because sending emails doesn’t cost money doesn’t mean it should be used without care.
Are you making sure all your links work in every piece of communication you send out or publish? Did you make sure that every page your visitors go to is entirely free of broken links, outdated information, and other stuff that can cost you sales?

Double and triple check your stuff. Pretend you’re the person you are marketing to - would you take action, (would you buy, would you sign up, would you leave your email, would you…)? Are you even able to?

Wikipedia for Porn - Carnalpedia.org Launches

Today “Wikipedia for Porn - Carnalpedia.org” officially launches. This could potentially matter to you marketers and adult site owners as you are able to create and edit adult-related entries. So you know what to do. I verified this with Jeremy, the owner of Carnalpedia.org. Although, on a personal note: tread lightly here - if you spam too much you’ll kill this thing off before it even grows balls. Be sure to give truly valuable information in your writeups. Think for second before you hit the “publish” button.

There’s not a huge amount there yet but like all Wikis, this could potentially become big, fast. So go ahead and start your engines, err…entries.

Here’s the press release. Or go straight to Carnalpedia.org here.

Carnalpedia

PRESS RELEASE (unaltered) —

###

“Wikipedia for Porn” Launches

After several months of development, the world’s largest sex encyclopedia is opening its door to the public. Carnalpedia is a free, peer-editable resource on sex, pornography and the adult industry that uses the Restricted to Adults website label to allows services like NetNanny to block access to those not of an appropriate age.

San Diego, Calif. June 4, 2009 — After several months of development Carnalpedia is opening its doors to the public. Built on MediaWiki, the same platform that powers Wikipedia, Carnalpedia is a free, peer-editable resource on all things sex and porn related.

After only a few weeks it is already home to over 120,000 articles, making it the largest online sex encyclopedia. Everyone, including adult companies, webmasters, porn stars and sex enthusiasts are invited to share their wealth of knowledge on the site, including the creation of pages for any products or services they would like to increase awareness of.

“The fact that Wikipedia has a certain type of audience leaves a lot of information about sex and the adult industry either blocked or censored. Having a wiki geared exclusively for the topic of sex, as well as having all the articles using the Restricted to Adults website labels, allows us a lot of latitude in what we can provide,” said site creator Jeremy Haddock.

The site allows images to be added only by authorized individuals from approved sources to ensure compliance with copyright law and the legal age of the models. All pages within Carnalpedia also carry the RTA label, which allows services like NetNanny to block access to those not of an appropriate age.

Visit http://www.carnalpedia.org or http://www.carnalpedia.org/Carnalpedia for more information.

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NEC 43 Inch Curved Monitor a Video Editors Dream

OMG I so want one of these! For around $8000 NEC now offers this 43 inch curved (!), ultra- wide monitor.

As someone who constantly works with horizontally elongated timelines (editing and music production software mainly), NEC CRV43 would be fantastic to have. I was giddy when I got my first wide screen 24 inch monitor five years ago but this…oh my.

Let’s see what NEC’s competition can come up with. Either way, the price will come down. But can I wait that long? Hmmm….

Press release for the NEC CRV43 is here

NEC 43 inch curved widescreen monitor

Bing.com Site Submission URL

Microsoft’s Bing.com is causing quite the stir already because…well, it’s very good. Some very nice features, good design, and relevant search results. Check it out and starting learning because I have a feeling Bing.com will become quite important to webmasters in the near future.

Click here to submit your URL to Bing.com

Not really necessary but just in case you’re still doing that sort of thing :)

Here is the webmaster forum for Bing.com. Start learning.

Adobe CS4 Update: Premiere Pro 4.1.0, Media Encoder, AE

Premiere Pro update 4.1.0Fire up your favorite Adobe CS4 application and rejoice - the long anticipated update to Premiere Pro is here (4.1.0), along with updates to Adobe Media Encoder and After Effects.

Premiere Pro 4.1.0 has been expected to be released late May of this year so Adobe is pretty close. This update is important as is (supposedly) addresses numerous severe problems with Premiere Pro CS4.

We’ll see after a few weeks of using this new version if the update actually fixes these problems. Without going into too much detail (plenty of hate threads online about this) Premiere Pro CS4 was definitely not what it could have been and what it should have been.

Maybe…hopefully…today will change that.

Installation Notes

Adobe’s updater is notorious for being crap. Don’t get frustrated if your downloads or (more likely) installation of the updates fails on the first try. Simply go here to manually download and install all the latest Adobe fixes.

You also need to close all Adobe programs and probably manually kill the “processcoordinationserver.exe” process via the Task Manager.

Good luck and let me know about your experiences with these new updates.

MacDrive 8 beta Supports Windows7

MacDrive 8 for Windows 7Looks like Mediafour’s MacDrive 8 will support Windows 7. The MacDrive8 beta is already available for you to download.

This is great news for video editors like myself who couldn’t wait and already migrated everything over the Windows 7. The only thing missing for me was MacDrive.

Click here to download the MacDrive 8 beta for Windows 7

Note: there is a big difference between HFS Explorer and MacDrive. The former is a very basic utility that lets you open up HFS formatted hard drives and copy (”extract”) files to your PC. It doesn’t work the other way around and you can’t use it to, say, edit directly off of the HFS drives.

MacDrive allows your PC to see HFS formatted drives to be seen just like any other hard drive. You can edit straight off of those kind of drives with Premiere Pro, Avid, Vegas etc. if you wanted to.





Windows 7 beta shutting down - Beginning Today

Windows 7 Beta

Reminder: if you’re using the Windows 7 beta your computer will begin shutting down every two hours beginning today, June 1st 2009.
If you haven’t already, go ahead and download the Windows 7 Release Candidate (RC) now.

Bing.com

Also on the Microsoft front, their new search engine, Bing.com is now live. I’m impressed so far, the layout and suggestions are excellent, the speed is incredible. We’ll see how that pans out for them.

Why this Matters

Right out of the gate Bing.com (stupid name) is already a very strong contender as the next serious Google competitor. This matters to you if you are running web sites or doing any type of SEO work because if Bing keeps it up and gains momentum you need to start working on “optimizing” for it too.

Don’t freak out just yet but keep Bing.com in mind and start reading up on how it works and how you could take advantage of it.

Default Mail Client setup in Internet Explorer 8

So you’re on Internet Explorer 8 and click a link that’s supposed to bring up your email client (Outlook, Thunderbird etc.) and email something to whoever the “mailto:” link was set to.

But instead of your mail client popping up you get an error message stating something to the effect that your mail client isn’t defined.

Here is a step by step guide of how you quickly set your favorite mail client as default email program in Internet Explorer 8.

HOW TO: set default mail client in IE8

BSOD: Install Adobe CS4 on Windows 7 or Vista

Trying to install Adobe CS 4 on Windows 7 or Vista and are getting the Blue Screen of Death (BSOD)? There are numerous possible reasons but many of them point to problems with the Adobe installation DVDs themselves. Other issues are driver conflicts between Windows 7 RC and several DVD drives.

Here is how I installed my Adobe CS4 Production Premium on my main machine under Windows 7 RC.

You will need all your Adobe Creative Suite installation discs but you will not install directly from those discs. Rather you’ll install all your CS4 programs directly from your desktop…

Screenshot: Adobe CS4 installation on Windows 7

Update Twitter, Facebook, Myspace, Flickr, Wordpress At Once

Tired of separately logging into all the different social network and blog sites you belong to? Sick of having to remember every username and password combination to all those accounts?

You don’t have to. Ping.fm has got you covered - Ping.fm allows you to update your Twitter, Facebook, Myspace, Flickr, Wordpress, Blogger, Imeem, LinkedIn, and Delicious accounts (among many others) at once.

You can even update from your iPhone or laptop if you want.

Ping.fm

Ping.fm is currently in beta so expect a glitch here and there.

If you don’t have a mobile device but don’t want to shell out the money for an iPhone and overpriced AT&T contracts, Ping.fm will happily give you a deal for a compatible device called Peek. It lets you email and of course “ping” (update) your social media sites on the go. I haven’t tried one of these gadgets, just letting you know it exists.




About Kroy

Kroy is a freelance Creative and Technical consultant specialized in video and photo media production, web publishing, and online marketing.
Learn more about Kroy at KROYCOM

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